the moo faq

because i simply love myself, and i know that people who visit my blog loves me too, i've decided to answer all the mysteries of the universe surrounding me, myself and i. simply put... this is a perasan case segment on myself. if you're not feeling disgusted about yourself right now, do read on.....

sooo.... what is a blog anyway?
well, basicly, a blog is the sound you make when you regurgitate your food due consuming an excessive amount of durians and whisky in a single session. okay, kidding, a blog is basicly where i whine about my miserable existance, and make posts to boost my self confidence and ego. or to insult people. and make enemies. many enemies.

then why blog if it's all bad?
well, i have this love for whining and making enemies. call it a fetish if you will, i get this thrill and sense of excitement when im blogging. and no, i don't wank on the sight of my blog. and i hope you don't either.

scary.... so are you a wanker?
simply put, NO.

then who are you?
well, my name is wong. derek wong. failure case for an engineering student, and perasan case extrodinaire. malaysian and loving it. stuck in UK and hating it. single and wanna get out of it? any desperate women looking for a perfect man, please don't hesitate to mail me RIGHT NOW.

what's an faq?
well, try saying it out loudly. it works best in the middle of class. faq. faq. fark. fuck. sounds the same, isn't it? so faq is where i answer the fucking questions everyone is asking me that i have answered a million times.

what's with cows anyway?
well, i have some form of cow fetish, where i worship cows. no, really. uh huh. okay. basicly, it all started like ages ago, when i was 15 i think. i wanted to revamp one of my site, and was creating an account on brinkster. to my discontent, thefalcon and derekwong was already taken as a username, so i needed something unique. something special. and cows came to mind. hence, moomoo was borned. or u can believe the more outrageous i have a cow fetish story if you wish.

why blog?
erm, let's see. ages and melodies ago, there was a site i had. and another. and another. and another. i used to update it with some aspect of my life, bitching and stuff. and then, i got bored. the prospect of updating HTML on a daily basis (my old sites were written from scratch and uploaded via ftp) was pure torture. then, i found blogger. and so the story begins....

how often do you blog? got milk life?
well, if you read thru my blog, haitus comes as often as my exs PMS. exams, having fun, stuff.. are the main few reasons. i blog when i want, where i want.... and there's times i do it 3 times a day, and times i do it once a week. (sounds alot like someones sex life, doesn't it?)

did you just insult your ex?
no. i love her to bits, and i still do. but she has her moments, which are fairly dangerous to mess with at times.

so are you single now?
single, desperate, and horny as hell. any desperate women looking for a perfect man, please don't hesitate to mail me RIGHT NOW.

got pic?
well i have posted my pic once in awhile in my blog. so try looking through my posts to find some.

you're ugly/fat/rude/horny looking.
and you must be miss universe. nobody's perfect, i'm sure as hell you aren't, so look in the mirror before you talk. if you think you're perfect, 2 words : suck it. and i'm sure whores.com needs you for a new muff flick they plan to make involving animals and scat.

you're rude. go screw a cow.
bend over.

you're kinda emo in your blogs, aren't you? are you mental?
while i have been to tanjung rambutan, i'm confident of my current mental state. i'm not too sure about yours.

i think you're cool. can i link?
not a problem. here's an image to go with it, if you want. and drop me a mail and i'll link you back, depending if i like you or not.

your image is written awlays instead of always. and you got loads of spelling errors in your blog. you suck in english.
uh huh. sure. i speak manglish, for one. and welcome to the internet, land of bad grammar, impossible spellings, and porn. about the awlays, its fixed. blame my graphic designer for this.

who's kyll? he sounds cute...
hey.. this site and faq is about me! all me! not him! anyway, he's an old friend from secondary school. you can find his site here. and i'm not too sure, but i think he's single. so ladies, if i reject u, fret not, and go find him.

what's manglish?
malaysian + english = manglish. it's basically a mix of malay, english, chinese, and any other language i know of. so don't be suprised if i suddenly blurt out memper-siasui-kan or me-malu-fying. it's part of my culture.

i'm a lameass manc. and i hate your site because you're a scouser.
while i was not born in liverpool, i am a scourse to the bone. you, on the other hand, are a glory hunting wanker. please stop reading this and go screw you brother/sister/mother/grandmother. at least that way, you'll make more retarded mancs which will die before they turn 15 because they stuck their tougue on a live wire. as far as i believe, there are two good teams in machester, manchester city, and manchester city reserves.

ever plan on writing a book? you're an excellent writer.
find me an agent and a publisher, and sure i'll do it. otherwise, i shall stick to my life as a pathetic student.

this faq style looks familiar.
exactly. its shamelessly ripped off from xiaxue's site. i got the idea from her. blame her if you get a stroke after reading this.

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